Lego the Witch and the Picture Frame

2 months ago a new female started working at my place of work she’s a older Nigerian woman with odd weavon and the weirdest crockey Nigerian accent, which only could have been brought on by years of smoking. I saw her as a very weird person the first time I met her she was wearing some over tight jeans some snake skin high heals shoes and the weirdest low cut top I ever seen basically not necessary for my place of work.

I thought she was odd but didn't take any real notice as there’s a whole bunch of weird looking people about in London and there still cool, until she asked me what I did at uni, I replied gave the usual reply . .

I’m in uni study graphic design visual communication, she replies with
“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ah that is nice, can you turn me into a mermaid ?”
Now iv never been asked such a request, so I was like
“o oo o k yea if u got a picture of a mermaid and another of yourself I do it for u”
She replies
“ah o kaaaaaaaaaaay, but if I do this people may think im trying to do juju” (Nigerian witch craft)

I was like whatever innit trying to much my lunch with out looking at her.

Later on that day I was talking to my friend (hold tight Margerat) and she was like how she remembered watching some Nigerian film where by one of the characters who was a witch, was able to turn into a mermaid !

I couldn’t believe it i was shocked
thought returned to conversation with my new colleague earlier that day.

So I decided to stair clear of her and watch her for a bit. I noticed a few things which justified her as a witch

Mustache and beard (and to the rest of the ladies out there, thread that shit if you have one)

Nutty looking jewelery from rings resembling avirex jacket characters and snakes

To dodgy shaped crucifix chains.

She wears the most hideous garms to work, I remember one rainy day she was wearing a cream cameo blazer with matching skinny trousers and a cream snake skin boots !

Only drinks coke and

Has the weirdest voice iv ever heard on a woman full stop.

Oh and she she’s straight fucking annoying,

Telling me I should betend to be her boyfriend so we can go to the woman’s store Hobbs for free Champaign !

Crazy weavon, I swear its like curled up rusty toe nails

O and she eat’s the smelliest chicken soup in the world . . .

Now I personally believe she has been the reason for my nutty dreams of late.

She’s NUTS I tell you I even remember the time she said to me

“lego I have my own website”

what is it ? is asked

“it is www.youtube.com”

I just burst out laughing when she said this

then she gave me the address for her music video . . (I warn you play with caution)

worst video ever ? aaaaaaaaah yea

now this leads me onto lasts weeks event Lego the witch and the picture frame,

where by my manager basically got conked on her head by a rather large picture frame consequently injuring herself rather severely.

now exactly at this time of the accident, I was in the office with a fellow colleague playing with the camera which should have been facing in my managers direction.

But instead of it being on the manager, me and my colleague were zooming in on the witches weavon/ wing or whatever the fuck it is ! shit is nuts,

I swear she did some magic spell to make me do this. If they catch me its straight disciplinary movements.

learn from my mistakes don't ramp with witches ! ! ! they mess your shit up worse than bobby browns . . .
im now on the internet googling for some one that can help me with this issue !

holdtights . .
holdtight, kesi my original BAKER
holdtight witts you and ollie rave like theres no tomorrow
holdtight the circle line party on saturday, hot sweaty mother fuckers drunk on a packed train going nuts . . like 90% of you has ever drank alcohol on the underground before FOOLS.
im all for fucking about, but this shit never made any sense to me.

(these people had the tunes)