Ashley Cole Reincarnations

Unfortunately i never had my camera to document this event, so I have been aided by Google images.

Some time last week I was invited to a friends barbecue, it had to be the shittiest thing I had ever been to if i must be honest. Lots of cold pasta, cold jerk chicken and vegetable side dishes (which to me is the worse thing in the world as i HATE veg)



Then you had all these annoying little fucking kids running about in the garden and shitting about like there parents had them on Robinson's diluted crack juice.



And then on top of that, there where no hot mama's about. I was slyly being deprived, but i thought fuck it I'll stick it out because i was invited by my friend (and a friends a friend)

So I was there in the garden sitting when the next door neighbors mother starts looking over the garden fence at her 2 kids (who had attended the bbq as well)
She waits a bit watching, but eventually comes over and just relaxes. (she was kinda hot if i must say so, myself)

Later on I was about to leave when she approached me and was like
"you leaving already ? nah go in and get me a drink and one for yourself so we can have a little chat outside in private"
I was thinking, alright I only live down the road so i might as well and shes hot, whats the most that can happen except me getting some (m.i.l.f) action.
(DON'T JUDGE ME I'M A SINGLE MAN)



I go get her a drink and then she starts to rabbit on about her money and houses etc, i was just thinking to myself what ever.

I then decide it ain't going no where, so I say I'm gonna go home.
Then she says then goes
"what your gonna go home already or are gonna come to my house and listen to some music and chat with me?"
I was thinking RAAAAAAH okay then (some one wants a bit of the good old lego tonight)
So I went with her and her two kids to her house which was next door it was to funny, on the way one of her kids was like
"mummy whose this man coming into the house" she was like his just mummies new friend. I was thinking to myself yeah kid I'm your mummy's new friend and where gonna go play in her bed when you sleep.



I step in the house and it was nniiiiiize, I enter the sitting room and sit down looking out for photos to see whether she had a husband or boyfriend or some sort of love attachment but never found nothing.

So I thought everything was cool, she then puts on some saucy RnB tune and I'm thinking nahh wheres my old school hip-hop I had asked for.
She goes
"i hate old-skool" and starts dancing in front of me bum flicks and all of that video hoe stuff, but I weren't complaining.



One of the kids then comes down and the mother switches, which causes her to drop something on the floor. Then when she had got them out of the way into bed
she returns and decides to pick up what had dropped in the sauciest way possible.



(bearing in mind shes wearing some short mini skirt) Giving me a full view of what was under the skirt.
As soon as this happened, I knew I was in there just like when former president Clinton first chirpsed Monica Lewinsky inside the white house, this time it was the BLACK house and lego was running things.

She then leaves me alone in the sitting room for a minute, so I take the liberty of going close to the window just to check outsides darkness but doing that what do i see on the window ledge ?

all these congratulation on your wedding cards . . . i was like
WHAT THE FUCK SHES MARRIED !



I couldn't believe it fucking hell, she then came back when I realized her wedding ring.
and then one of the kids was like "whens daddy coming home?"



As soon as those words were dropped I knew then it was time to make my escape out of that house. But every time I tried to leave she would be like nah don't leave please.



Lucky enough I managed to escape when I strategically managed to call one of my boys and ask him to call me back at a certain time so i could lie and say i was going out later that night with him.

Now i don't normally share my saucy activities with people I know, let alone blog them so for future love interests don't be afraid, I just felt some one could learn of this situation of mine. Be careful who you marry they may just be some next reincarnations of Ashly Cole A FUCKING CHEAT have a nice day.

Loving bntl like a fat kid loves cake.