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Tuesday 29 July 2008

Where i live in London . .

We don’t normally getting extremely hot weather, but when we do it becomes fucking unbearable and people start behaving like punks and bitches.
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where i live in London, people think its right to eat smelly chicken and chips on a bus which happens to be 120degrees
(notice the pieces in his finger nails his really enjoying himself)
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Where i live in London, when you get on a underground train so does everyone else. you end up squashed next to people with mustard breath, smelly armpits and general b.o which reminds one of toilet water (after a couple bombs have been dropped).
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Where i live in London, people don't prepare themselves when going on the underground on extremely hot days so when it gets to hot they punk out vomit and faint like a PlayStation with no wires.
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Where i live in London, various selfish characters like to hog the windows on the underground stealing all the breeze for themselves like a fat kid at the dinner table.
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Where i live in London, you pay extortionate prices for journeys but when you want to use it on the hottest day of the year it happens to break down
(fuck you tfl) it was so hot my shit nearly dropped out my ass ! ! !
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Where i live in London, paying to go on the rail way costs the same amount as buying a 99plate fiat punto with leather seats and electric windows.
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Where i live in London, when you do buy train tickets they decide to treat you like a leprechaun and give you your change in pound coins.
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Where i live in London, random drunk characters tend to take delight in starting conversation with passing up decent members of the public
(cough cough, like myself)
Talk of Tony Blair and how he should have married a spice girl occurred on at this particular occasion.
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Where i live in London, once you reach your desired destination your heart is broken when you realize the gate was left wide open and the money spent on the ticket could have been spent on something better like four giraffes and a can of coke.
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Where i live in London, when you pay a Kosovon man who sells phone cards in a little box on the street to repair your phone you end up using a phone older than the combined ages of the Wu-Tang clang members.
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Where i live in London, i love it so much even if it does cause my nipples to sweat Evian water.

loving bntl like a fat kid loves cake.

18 comments:

bafic said...

haha my train tjourney was great no drunk chicken and chip seating b.o smelling window stealing punks in sight !
big post misterlego

Jesse said...

lol, good post

Gynelle said...

i think your in love with the same girl as me!

london will always have my unconditional love.

Anonymous said...

does anyone care..










no.

Anonymous said...

you continue to lower the tone of this blog with sub standard material

Anonymous said...

I like this post, I agree about the barriers it's so fluckrys. When I pay for a ticket I want to have to use it everywhere and if you are gonna open them can you let a bastard know beforehand.

Anonymous said...

loool made me a laugh!!!!

Cath. said...

I'm so glad you prepared me for the London Underground! Everything you say is true times 5. For godsake where is the air-conditioning!! And why is it so expensive! But still, it's an easy way of transportation, better than the trams in Amsterdam. xx

Del said...

the next time i go on the tube, im wearing a burkha and a giant backpack...

maybe then, the stinking bastards will move out the way and give up the seats

Anonymous said...

NO

Mr.Londoner said...

student oyster cards FTW!!

never paying those absurd adult prices..

witalit said...

As usual anon always got something waste to say. Personally I think Lego brings jokes to BNTL, a good addition to the team. Don't watch the haters keep these posts coming Lego!

Tunu said...

yeah student oyster card!!
when it expires i will have to look for my nigerian cousins to hook me up.

Anonymous said...

Please leave fat children alone.
They don't deserve it.

Anonymous said...

Lego re-tire like goodyear.
All this mockery, it has to stop.

There must be an act against such conduct.

Anonymous said...

you bad man x

S.P. said...

lol, funny post. and lol @ the gate being left open.

shout out to the man on the central line that pushed me out the way so that he could get to the window :|

Unknown said...

Kmt @ the chicken eating guy on the bus...what happened to public transport etiquette??
Once again Misterlego you've entertained :-)